When issues arise among the family that cause members to fall to the distance, the entire family will feel the impact. How can you gain control of a family problem if the family is so divided that you can no longer get them in the same room? Healing families from a distance is complicated, but it is completely possible in most cases. Our blog will provide you with information and insights that could help your family regroup, step back and look at everyone's opinions and begin to develop the strong, close relationship that a family should enjoy for many years.
It can be a devastating realization to find out that your baby has special needs that you are not equipped to handle. You might find out early in pregnancy through tests like chorionic villus sampling (CVS) that your baby has a severe birth defect. An ultrasound midway through the pregnancy might have given you and your doctor clues that something was amiss. In some cases, you might not find out until your baby is born that there is a problem. If you know that you cannot parent a child with the condition that your baby has, placing the baby for adoption can provide him or her with the best life possible. Here are some tips to consider when making this decision.
Give It Some Time
If you are coming up on the deadline for termination in your state, you might be pressured into quickly choosing between adoption and abortion. In many cases, however, you can take the time you need to make a well-researched decision. While this is your decision make, together with the baby's father, you might choose to consult with your extended family for support and help in making the right choice. Support groups for parents of children with special needs can also give you some insight as to what you might expect if you were to parent the child.
Even if you find out at your baby's birth that special needs or birth defects are present, you don't have to decide what you want to do that day. A hospital social worker can help you think through your options, but you should not be pressured into making a final decision before you leave the hospital if you aren't ready to.
Find the Right Agency
Once the decision to place your baby for adoption has been made, it's wise to find an adoption agency to help you. Try to find one that has experience in placing babies with special needs. Some agencies have lists of hopeful parents who intend to adopt children with certain special needs. This situation could help you find the perfect parents for your baby. Be very honest with the adoption agency about your baby's prognosis and your family's health history.
Decide on Open or Closed Adoption
Many families are choosing open adoption, which means that photos, medical updates and, in some cases, letters, phone calls and visits are part of the relationship between the child and the biological parents. Talk to your adoption agency about making the right choice for you, the adoptive parents and, most importantly, the baby. Understand that depending on the baby's condition, he or she might not be able to understand the situation regarding his or her adoption. Your agency can help you form a plan with your baby's intended parents.
Reassure Your Children
If you already have children, particularly if they are old enough to understand what is happening, it's important to be as open with them as their ages and comprehension levels allow. Your children might need some reassurance that they will not also be placed for adoption. This can be particularly important if one of your children has special needs him- or herself; that child might have very strong feelings on the matter. Don't hesitate to seek counseling for your kids if warranted to help them get through this time.
Finally, try not to feel guilty about doing what is best for your family. Many special-needs children find loving, wonderful homes through adoption. Talk to your doctor about having genetic testing done before getting pregnant again if the condition was hereditary. Most of all, know that you have done what you could to make a difficult situation better for you, your family, your baby and the adoptive family.
For more information on how to give a baby up for adoption, check out websites like http://www.achildsdream.org.